Millions of people have improved their relationship by learning how The Five Love Languages works, to get started you can take The Five Love Language Quiz
Dr Gary Chapman is a #1 New York Times Best Seller, he wrote the amazing book: The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate It was first published in 1992 and it sold over 12 million copies worldwide and it’s still a popular read today alongside the Relationship Quiz.
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate – Dr Gary Chapman
Read my full article here: Related article: What Are The Five Love Languages?
Here are Dr Gary Chapman Quotes that will help you understands the 5 love languages in more detail.
Words of Affirmations
Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love.
Words of affirmation are simply true statements affirming the worth of another person.
Like words of affirmation, the language of quality time also has many dialects. One of the most common dialects is that of quality conversation. By quality conversation, I mean sympathetic dialogue where two individuals are sharing their experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context.
If you are not a man or woman of words, if it is not your primary love language but you think it may be the love language of your spouse, let me suggest that you keep a notebook titled “Words of Affirmation.” When you read an article or book on love, record the words of affirmation you find.
Appreciation is that inner sense that your partner values your contribution to the relationship.
Gift of Giving
All five love languages challenge us to give to our spouse, but for some, receiving gifts, visible symbols of love, speaks the loudest.”
If you discover that your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts, then perhaps you will understand that purchasing gifts for him or her is the best investment you can make. You are investing in your relationship and filling your spouse’s emotional love tank, and with a full love tank, he or she will likely reciprocate emotional love to you in a language you will understand.
Material things are no replacement for human, emotional love.
It is universal to give gifts as an expression of love. My academic background is anthropology, the study of cultures. We have never discovered a culture where gift-giving is not an expression of love.
Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.
Physical Touch
Once you discover that physical touch is the primary love language of your spouse, you are limited only by your imagination on ways to express love.
Physical touch is also a powerful vehicle for communicating marital love. Holding hands, kissing, embracing, and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating emotional love to one’s spouse. For some individuals, physical touch is their primary love language. Without it, they feel unloved. With it, their emotional tank is filled, and they feel secure in the love of their spouse.
Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love. To the person whose primary love language is physical touch, the message will be far louder than the words “I hate you” or “I love you.”
Sexual intercourse, however, is only one dialect in the love language of physical touch. Of the five senses, touching, unlike the other four, is not limited to one localized area of the body. Tiny tactile receptors are located throughout the body. When those receptors are touched or pressed, nerves carry impulses to the brain. The brain interprets these impulses and we perceive that the thing that touched us is warm or cold, hard or soft. It causes pain or pleasure. We may also interpret it as loving or hostile.
Implicit love touches require little time but much thought, especially if physical touch is not your primary love language and if you did not grow up in a “touching family.” Sitting close to each other on the couch as you watch your favorite television program requires no additional time but may communicate your love loudly. Touching your spouse as you walk through the room where he is sitting takes only a moment. Touching each other when you leave the house and again when you return may involve only a brief kiss or hug but will speak volumes to your spouse.
Acts of Service
Learning the love language of acts of service will require some of us to reexamine our stereotypes of the roles of husbands and wives.
If acts of service do not come naturally for you, it is still a love language worth acquiring. It is a way of expressing a sense of responsibility for the well-being of others. Albert Schweitzer said repeatedly ” As long as there is a man in the world who is hungry, sick, lonely or living in fear, he is my responsibility.” Helping others is universally accepted as an expression of love.
Putting away shoes, changing a baby’s diaper, washing dishes or a car, vacuuming, or mowing speaks volumes to the individual whose primary love language is acts of service.
For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships.
Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardships our lot in life.
Life is filled with opportunities to express love by acts of service.
Quality time
Real love” – “This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.
If her primary love language is quality time and her dialect is quality conversation, her emotional love tank will never be filled until he tells her his thoughts and feelings.
Like words of affirmation, the language of quality time also has many dialects. One of the most common dialects is that of quality conversation. By quality conversation, I mean sympathetic dialogue where two individuals are sharing their experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context.
Camp out in the living room. Spread your blankets and pillows on the floor. Get your Pepsi and popcorn. Pretend the TV is broken and talk like you used to when you were dating. Talk till the sun comes up or something else happens. If the floor gets too hard, go back upstairs and go to bed. You won’t forget this evening!.
We must be willing to learn our spouse’s primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love.
Related article:The 5 Love Language The Secret to Love That Lasts Quotes by Author Gary Chapman
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